Wednesday, November 21, 2007

From the Past

While going through the assortment of random notes, post-its, credit card receipts and bills that I had brought from Bangalore, I found the following note written by me sometime in May-June this year:

Pain is the glacier from which all the rivers of courage originate. All that is required is a valley that needs to be irrigated.
There is a duel - inside me - how do you choose sides. I am the two teams, I am the referee, I am the audience...how the hell I decide which side to choose. Even the duel is not well defined. One side is stronger cause ...
I need some all consuming work.
Work is the respite. An idle brain is the worst enemy of a genius.

Well, I did choose; actually I gave in to one side which got some impulses. It was bad, I learnt my lessons; and then life moved on.
But finding this piece was a good reminder of the struggle and the fact that I am capable of writing something that, at least to me, sounds a little bit poetic.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Sleepless

Lying in the bed, light years away from sleep, what is the one thing you desire, one small thing, that would make the past day so much better, that will expel the insomnia out of you...or maybe make you even more sleepless? What is that one small thing that you are looking for?

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Take a lift...

Last weekend,on my way back from Vashi after meeting up with a few friends, I had to leave the auto I was in because I was getting fed up of the driver's endless ramblings and I had a feeling he was drunk, though I could not smell anything. It was too late in the night - around 1 or 1:30 - and the autos around there didn't agree to take me; so I started walking towards my place, planning to get an auto en route. After getting on the main road along Powai lake, I thought of taking a lift and a man in a red car obliged. We got talking and what a coincidence it turned out to be.

The guy lived in the same apartment complex as me, and is a graduate from IIT Kharagpur(though much senior to me, circa 1985) and a resident of Nehru when he was in kgp. He works in Crisil and some of the people that have just joined our ratings advisory team at GMC were working in Crisil before here and he knew them well.

It was really great to meet someone so unexpectedly in the dead of the night and finding out we had so much in common. It was just the second time I had taken a lift in my life, and this happened. Can't help thinking what an interesting life a habitual hitchhiker would have, meeting so many strangers and getting to know them and trying to connect the dots...

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Finding Something

Finally orkut paid off. Wandering aimlessly through the friend network, I landed at a link to a blog. First couple of things I read had already made me post a scrap to the author. The blog's title quote about how we do not know ourselves rang so true and then another quote on the sidebar, from Harry Potter series, reminded me of times when I was in company of people with whom I could spend hours discussing about things which, on the face, seem so meaningless.
Having established a connection to the blog, I went ahead to read a few posts. The beauty was remarkable. The simplicity in which so wonderful thoughts were presented; the frankness and naturality of the stories being observed and written, endeared me to the blog.
Another addition to my google reader.

Monday, October 08, 2007

Forgiving Yourself

How often have we heard that it is tougher to forgive oneself than others. If you have some guilt and you are not able to forgive yourself, the guilt keeps eating you from the inside and harms you much more than a just punishment that you would have received for whatever wrong you committed. That's why the first and most important advice that a psychiatrist / psychologist gives a patient is to forgive oneself.
Over the last week or so I have read two books: The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini and For One More Day by Mitch Albom. Both novels tell stories about relationships and how somethings that the protagonist did in the past keeps haunting him till he gets a chance to redeem himself.
The books are very different from each other. The Kite Runner has a childhood friendship as its central story whereas it's the relationship between a mother and her son which runs through the plot in Albom's story. Hosseini's work spans over 3 decades whereas the story in For One More Day spans just one day, with memories of years gone by forming interludes. The Kite Runner is a bigger roller-coster of emotions, more complete in the sense that it depicts so many of human emotions.
The story is told from the perspective of the main character Amir, who longs to get praised by his father, who has the best friendship with the son of the house's domestic help. His life takes him through the toughest times that Afghanistan has faced, the earlier part of the story running through the time when Russia attacked Afghanistan. Through small sub plots, the author builds up the different characters and takes you to the world where you go through the same feelings as the characters experience: the shame of betraying a friend, the fear that you will lose your parent, the hopelessness, the anger that comes with guilt, the never-ending chain of thoughts that makes you an insomniac, the realisation that something is the one chance that you will get to redeem yourself. I specially loved the later part of the book where the story becomes a little fast paced, and the author makes it so real. There is no dramatisation of events. The way you learn of shocking events, without any fanfare, seems so true to life where there is no room for extra glamour; the truth being so simple and we learning it without the camera panning at stupid angles over and over again. The Kite Runner is a must read for anyone who has interest in the way humans interact with each other, how society behaves and how small events have effects that last all your life.
Coming to For One More Day, it is the story of Chich Bonnetto, a one time Major League baseball palyer, who is down and out in his life and tries to commit suicide. Instead of dying, he meets his mother, who had died eight years earlier. From then on, the story is a web of events in the current day, memories from the past and some notes that the author has found in the lead character's belongings. The text of the novel is not as powerful as The Kite Runner. But small snippets that you find in the book are so strikingly true that you stop to think about them. For example, on his mother's death, Chick says after you lose your parents, it feels like you are going into a battle without a backup you always felt you had, no matter what. That statement is so true, I could think of it in conjunction with my life, how whenever I have any trouble, I know at the back of my mind that I have my parents to go to, in case everything else falls apart. Chick realises so many other things while spending one more day with his long lost mother, one extra day which we long for after our beloveds are gone. Another thing that hit me in the novel is Chick's mother's habit of leaving him notes. It made me think how with the advent of technology, email and mobile phones, we have forgotten the beauty and value of handwritten letters. I remember, when I was in Delhi preparing for JEE, my father used to write letters to me. Those letters were a source of strength and motivated me to work harder. And today those letters are perhaps the biggest treasure that I have, the reminders of the love and faith my parents had in me, the reminders of one of the most important phases of my life. That is what we, as a civilisation, have missed with use of mobile phones and email.
Though the two stories are very different, one thing that is common is the advice that the lead character gets from people who love him most - forgive yourself, that is the first stop on the way to a better life, a life where you feel at ease with yourself and the world around you.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

New York

A little bit about what's going on in my life before New York...after all it's been almost 4 months since my last post, and trust me, that's a lot. Well, wrote CFA level 1, cleared it; gave a job interview at Deutsche Bank, cleared it; and another few classified but significant things.(yea, i know insignifican things are not classified). And now all that is history and I am in New York.Now, the trip. arrived on 9th, with 2 other guys from the office, and another joined us during the week. have been put up very near to the wall street, the mecca of i-bankers and very near to the wtc site. went to times square a couple of times during the week; nice place; looks awesome with all the lights; walking down broadway was a good experience. then went shopping for some groceries.On Monday, 10th, joined office. Even though i knew that i would be working here from 7 in the morning, to quite often, 10 in the night; the first hand experience was overwhelming. At the end of first day, we were exhausted like if we had just finished a mental marathon; plus everything being so new and different was a little intimidating. One friend had already started looking forward to the flight back home!!! But as the week progressed, we got to know the ways of New York and the people in our respective teams and it became a lot easier. One big difference in the office culture from Mumbai is that here people get their meals on their desks and eat while working. Also, the food here is quite different and I am still not comfortably aware of the way a typical meal is structured here. But thanks to my teammates, I am getting to learn a little bit; have tasted quite different variety of dishes - mexican, japanese, typical american sandwich, and different types of meat.This weekend; saturday was spent electronic shopping, though the end result was just one laptop for me and a few things for the others. On Sunday, went on a ferry ride around Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island. One needs a pre-booked time pass for entering the statue of liberty and hence we had to be content with alighting on the liberty island and taking a stroll there. The weather was nice, and the view of manhattan was awesome. Will make sure to get the time pass next time I visit the place. Next stop on the ferry ride was Ellis Island, where immigrants in the 19th and early 20th century used to come before entering US. They have made quite a good museum out of the place and the trip is recommended to anybody interested in history. Though I have no connection with the immigration saga, the visit to the place was great.In the evening, walked across the brooklyn bridge and went to the other side of the east river, a borough called Brooklyn. The view of Manhattan, all lighted up, from Brooklyn Bridge and then from the other side, from a dock near olden days' warehouses (the whole area is interestingly called DUMBO for Down Under Manhattan Bridge Passover; Manhattan Bridge being another bridge that connects Manhattan and Brooklyn and both bridges have their Brooklyn ends close to each other), was terrfic. Had always seen the view in wallpapers; first time got a taste of it in reality. We had planned to go to the Empire State Building; but was quite late by the time we came back from DUMBO and hence had to dump the plan. Let's see if we can do it this weekend.
A word on NY at the end. It is great; no doubts; with all the different background people living here; with all the activity and what not. But apna ghar apna hi hota hai. I am sure, most of those who come down and settle here would take a lot of time in really getting used to it.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Accounting standards up for significant changes

Just got to my computer after 3 hours of hard work on Financial Statement Analysis; the topic with the maximum weightage in the level 1 CFA exam. And guess what I come across while reading one of my favorite blogs (freakonomics) over the net.

A new post that advises people to put those accounting classes on hold, according to an article on the Wall Street journal.

If this comes to happen; more than half of the financial ratios that i have mugged up will lose their existence; as most of them are based on the net income which these new standards will not have a place for; neither above nor below the line.

I am sure the CFA guys would be scrambling for setting up a new syllabus and all those accounting authors brushing up their knowledge for rewriting their texts.I guess I should also take an active part in the US culture and go sue those
guys who are responsible for this change; thankfully I wont need to do
that as this is not affecting me; at least not in the short run. My exam is within a week and I do not have to do anything like that; otherwise it would have been the last nail in the coffin and I would have decided to cancel the visit to Sri Lanka to write the exam.





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Thursday, May 17, 2007

the best times

A tribute to the best times we ever had, by a friend



Today, as i have just woken up, i secretly want someone to ask me,
"bf?" in a chat window. I want someone to come to my room just to
enter, sit, see me chatting or watching a movie and then leave without
making a single remark. I want to go to a room adjacent to mine and
complain about the kind of songs/movies/videos he likes. I want to
shout from one end, asking some stupid question to a person, about
something which even a dumb a$$^@!& can answer. I wish someone came
to my room or i might have gone to his room and asked "sutta hai?" and
most probably the answer from either side would be, "tck". I wish i
could go and lay on one bed which is small for even one person with 4
others. Oh!!! I wish i could do this all, one more time.








missing u all guys...





for the whole post by my friend, go here





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Saturday, May 12, 2007

life

Just a random thought after reading about Darfur, Rwandaand genocide in general and remembering Rajshekhar Purandare's Haiku

life
you are so fragile
running after don't know what
ending in a jiffy, by death
never ending, in pain

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Friday, May 11, 2007

New HCL Advertisement

You've got to watch this ad; one of the best I have seen in recent times, right there at the top with the Nike ad.



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hope

this one is my creation again and i am putting here courtesy of Amit Sinha



the difference between humans and other animals is that we have the concept of hope; we realise it when it is there and it makes us do things which are otherwise impossible





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Saturday, May 05, 2007

a discussion about wishes, utopia and karma

this is an excerpt from a chat i had with a friend of mine; i don't know how to put it more presentably, so just copied and pasted from my gmail chats section. And of course, I took permission from Neeraj before posting this.













me
: waise agar free hai to mera abhi wala status message pad aur comments



My status message at that time was:

heart: why do wishes rarely come true?

mind: because most of the times they are stupid.

heart: but they are wishes, they have all the rights to be stupid.




Neeraj: okies

kyun deewana ho jata hai koi?

kyun armaan uthte hain kahin?

maalum nahin,

yeh dil aakhir chahta kya hai?

me: hehe

achhe poet ho tum bhi

Neeraj: nahin nahin

yeh shayari gadar the movie mein thi

me: koi is sawaal ka jawaab de de to jindagi bhar gulami karein

Neeraj: :)

hahaha

well wishes have every right to be stupid

me: yup, u r correct

see this is the good thing about u

Neeraj: but not every stupidity has the right to be fulfilled

or else, where would intelligence go??

down the memory lane

:P

me: yea thats correct, but why the hell do we need intelligence

to devise ways to fulfill our wishes only, right?

Neeraj: no dude

world is not only about wishes

intelligence has to be thr to maintain a balance

imagine if the world was filled with stupidity

also its difficult to imagine a world, if everyone was intelligent

me: i am not saying stupidity

i am just saying what about a world where everyone's all wishes were fulfilled, irrespective of their stupidity or brilliance

but then again my mind says: there is no such thing as utopia

Neeraj: wouldn't that be boring??

a world full of satisfaction

no motive or reason to keep going

me: so u dont want it to be boring, that would be just another wish, it will also be fulfilled

Neeraj: it already is fulfilled

me: tahts the problem with utopia

it keeps contradicting itself

Neeraj: i dont say, none of my wishes be fulilled

me: thats why it doesnt exist

Neeraj: i am saying, some of them shud and some shud not

me: why wish if u dont want it to be fulfilled

?

Neeraj: utopia is a foolish design of a pervert mind

i want it to be fulfilled

the best part is the ignorance about these things

we want 100 things, and out of these only 10 are to be fulfilled

me: utopia is an utopian creation of a high (by use of drugs) mind

Neeraj: but the best part is, we dont know which 10

me: what if i just want ten things

Neeraj: so, we work towards fulfillment of all

me: or maybe just a couple of things

Neeraj: then only 1 will be fulfilled, if 10% rule exists

me: why cant we get them

why has this nature to be so cruel

Neeraj: nature is not cruel

just because ur mom adds pepper to ur food doesn't make her cruel

me: then why are we not intelligent enough to think of some 9 wishes which we dont want to be fulfiled

Neeraj: its the balance netween spices of life that makes it interesting

me: and tht brings us back to the question why wish a wish u dont want ot be fulfilled

Neeraj: i want all my wishes to be fulfilled

and i wud work towards them

me: why do we want interesting? why dont we want satisfying

Neeraj: but the result is not in my hands

me: mayp be that is why we are humans and not dolphins

Neeraj: coz a satisfied soul doesnot exist

me: chal bahut bore kar liya tere ko

Neeraj: maybe

me: tu jaa , pad le

Neeraj: nahin nahin

me: yea may be

Neeraj: load nahin hai

i can go on this topic for hours

have thought over it a lot

when u have an unfulfilled dream u tend to think over it

me:
i guess the important thing is that u just need an indication that u
are going in the right direction, even in the knowledge that u wont
ever reach the destination (that is complete satisfaction) or may be
that the destination doesnt even exist, even in that knowledge, the
belief that u are moving towards the right direction, the belief that
hope exists ...may be that is what is important

Neeraj: karmanye vaadhikaraste ma phaleshu kadachanah

this is one shloka that has been mis-interpreted many times

or mis-understood

me:
but then what do u do when u dont know what ur karma is...u have some
ethics , beliefs which tell u dont do that...and some desires which
tell u do that, and those desires are not against ur ethics
either...its just conflict of ur basic nature, u pitted against urself,
and u cannot even isolate the jekyll and the hyde, they are one...what
do u do then

Neeraj: thats the problem, i know there can be confusion sometimes but confrontation seldom occurs

being a jekyll and a hyde is seldom in our control

so i think we should do what our karma asks us to do when u are in whichever form

me: then atleast why dont we turn into one ...just delete the other part

it wont be painful then

Neeraj: but thats not in our hand

we created them

me: yea, but if both forms are together, how do u know what ur karma is

Neeraj: but destruction lies somewhere else

every moment we are supposed to take a decision

and this decision depends on the circustances faced by a person

me:
saala i feel helpless when i realise that we can go on discussing this
and even then, in all probability, i wont ever reach a conclusion

the only solace lies in the fact that time heals









have u ever faced such a time? or have views on this? if u hv ever thought in this direction, ur comments are more than welcome




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Monday, April 23, 2007

Baghdad Wall

I have read news reports that the US army is erecting/planning to erect a Berlin Wall in Baghdad to keep Shia and Sunni dominated areas separate; and that the Iraqi PM has requested the US to stop this after criticisms have started pouring in.

Now, I do not know how US has a right to erect a wall in Iraq; that boils down to how exactly the government is being run there. However, irrespective of US's legal rights to do it; this is perturbing me a lot. What are your views on this? Forget US and Iraq, should such a wall be created at all?



I need more research into this. Will read more about Berlin Wall and this episode and then come back .





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Sunday, April 15, 2007

proof of God

If I should ever die, God forbid, let this be my epitaph:

THE ONLY PROOF HE NEEDED
FOR THE EXISTENCE OF GOD
WAS MUSIC



source:http://www.rense.com/general69/vonnegutsblues.htm


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Thursday, March 29, 2007

Dependence on cellphones

In the olden days of the bsnl landline, we had a small list of telephone numbers and we had all of them memorised. Today, a common man has around 200 contacts in his cellphone. Mine has 270 (remove the repeated ones and Hutch care & team and you are left with around 250). And the dependence on the cellphone results in a situation where we seldom remember phone nos. Why the hell does anybody need to remember them?!!! Thats what a cellphone address book is for.





But what if you get pick pocketed and loose your cellphone and (bad luck!) wallet together and that too in a new place??!!! Don't tell me that I am a big pessimist. This is what happened with a friend of mine last weekend.



He has just come to Bangalore and last Saturday was his second day here. He was on his way back to his place after meeting me and another friend when all this happened. Let me summarize the situation in his words :

bhaiyon on my 1st visit to the city bangi, i lost my wallet(ATM in tht) and my mobile.(so i cdn't contact)

kya swagat kiya hai bangi ne..........ravish and sinha ke saath kiya poora mazaa khatam ho gaya tha while returning, saala kaise kaise apne room pe pahuche



Now, if he had any of our numbers memorized, at least we could have gone to rescue him.



So, I have decided that I will commit to memory some important numbers. The list contains roommates, family, my manager at office, few friends in Bangalore.

If you have any suggestions to include in this list, you are welcome to comment.





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27 % Quota Policy Stayed

Now thats something to be happy about. Though the stay is not forever, the decision still carries some weight. The SC has noted that the policy can not be devised based on a census carried more than 75 years ago. It will be very tough for the union government to come up with a good answer to that. I just hope that it does its due diligence this time and does not reply in some arbitrary way so as to force the quota in the 2007-08 year.

Another good thing is that the SC bench has observed that "Reservation cannot be permanent and appear to perpetuate backwardness". An answer to this is also required. The government must have some kind of plan in place to really make the quotas (the existing SC/ST one or the proposed OBC one) effective; and that isn't possible unless they have a roll-out plan in place. The existence of a system that monitors the effectiveness and the necessity of the quota system, on an ongoing basis, is as much necessary as the quota itself, if it is at all needed.





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Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Calcutta HC puts CBI's Nandigram probe on hold

First read the news article.



I just read this news. I am sure the court would have its reasons to do so; currently I have read that the court needs time to go through all the affidavits filed before it. And I respect the court's judgment; we need to believe in the judiciary. Obviously, if the court determines that there is no need for an inquiry, then we can forget this case; but what if the court decides in favor of an investigation.



Whatever information that I have read, based on that I know that the CBI has collected evidence and the court has ordered for the evidence to be kept sealed; but there must be witnesses' statements to be recorded; other evidence to be gathered. Given the state of affairs, I am sure the probability of the witnesses being jeopardized is very high and CBI might still be in dark about some evidence which might be uncovered along the probe. There must be some way to avoid this, the legislature and the judiciary should decide upon a set of protocols which would prevent harm to an investigation in such a situation.



If anybody has more information on this case, kindly comment.





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Friday, March 23, 2007

Public speaking do's and don't's

Public speaking do's and don't's



by Eszter Hargittai



As Jerry Seinfeld once noted, at a funeral, most people would rather
be in the casket than giving the eulogy, since public speaking stresses
people out more than death. But giving talks doesn't have to be such a
frightening affair.



Whether you're giving a talk at your local library, updating your
colleagues on work progress, or presenting to a large group of
strangers, there are some simple steps that should help make public
speaking a better experience - for both you and your audience.


Presentation format



presenting5.jpgBefore
you start planning your presentation, find out from the organizers how
much time you have and what format they envision for your talk. Will
you be part of a panel or will you be speaking alone? Will you be in a
regular session or are you the dinner speaker? Do you have 15 minutes
or an hour? Do they prefer to leave time for questions? If yes, does
that come out of the allocated time you have been quoted? It is
important to know what is expected of you so you can be well prepared
and not have to scramble last minute to readjust your talk due to
unanticipated logistics.



Audience



Get information about who will be attending your presentation. Will
the head of the company be there or just co-workers? Are all
participants experts at the topic or will there be novices present? Is
there a mixed group of people representing different backgrounds or is
everyone on the same page regarding technicalities? Depending on the
audience, you will have to spend some time giving varying degrees of
background on the material and explaining certain concepts.



Location



If you have the opportunity, take a look at the location before the
time of the talk. It will help you visualize the context of the event
and ensure that you are not caught off guard by peculiarities of the
space.



The take-away message



If someone who missed your talk were to ask an audience member in
the elevator to sum it up, what would you like that person to say?
Focus on that message. Start out with this summary statement in mind
and build your presentation around it.



Outline



Once you have an idea of your presentation's main message, spend
some time thinking about the structure of the entire talk. All of the
material you cover should contribute toward communicating your core
message effectively. Start by writing an outline of the talk including
main sections and subsections.



Strong start



presenting1.jpgThe
first couple of minutes of your talk should be the most prepared and
polished. You want to get off to a good start. Those are likely to be
the most nervous moments so it is best not to leave anything to chance.
By being well prepared, you can convey your messages with confidence.
It is important to establish early on that you are prepared and are
worth people's attention.



Motivation



Spend a bit of time up front talking about the inspiration and
importance of your message. Listeners should get a bit of background on
what motivated your work or project in the first place. What may be a
fascinating topic to you may not be to the next person so don't take
for granted people's interest in the issues you are discussing. Explain
why they should pay attention and why your comments matter.



Timing



People rarely want to listen to someone for longer than the allotted
time. Few people are such amazing speakers that an audience can't get
enough of them. Do not assume you are one of those few. Wrap up your
talk on time. To achieve this goal, ask someone to give you time cues
by indicating when you have five minutes left, two minutes and when you
have run out of time. Once you get the last notice, you should stop
talking.



A common pitfall for presenters is to add unprepared introductory
remarks to their talk. The temptation of addressing previous speakers
is great, but beware. If your total alloted time is 15 minutes (a
frequent limit with many speaking engagements), adding a 3 minute intro
(not to mention longer!) will use up 20 percent of your time. However,
this is something no one ever builds into their talk. Either prepare
for this or let go of the temptation to add commentary at the last
minute.



Flexibility



Organize your talk and know it well enough to have the flexibility
to skip certain parts or expand on others depending on the
circumstances. For example, if you do add a last- minute introduction
(as per the previous point), be flexible to skip a part of the prepared
content.



Confidence and enthusiasm



You have been chosen as a speaker because you know your topic. Make
sure that you exert confidence during your presentation. Don't
apologize for what you don't have with you to present or what you do
not know. Rather, focus on what you can talk about and discuss the
material with confidence. This does not mean that you should be
arrogant or patronizing. It means that you should look comfortable
covering the material.



Be sure to enjoy your talk and show your enthusiasm about the
content. Your interest in the topic will be contagious and will likely
result in a more engaged audience.



Question-and-answer session



presenting4.jpg
If there is a Q segment then be sure to keep a polite demeanor
throughout. Thank people for their questions and feel free to praise
them for good points. If you are not sure how to respond to a query
then express your appreciation for the insightful comment and note that
you will look into it.



Practice makes perfect



Practice the presentation a few times: more if you have less
experience, less if you are a more seasoned public speaker. It can be
especially helpful to give the talk to someone who is not in your field
and is not intimately familiar with the material. This is helpful in
seeing whether you have made the talk too narrowly focused or overly
technical. Such a practice session does not have to involve the entire
talk, it can consist of telling someone about your presentation outline.



Don't write out the material word-by-word and don't plan on reading
text even if you do have it all written down. Having the text written
out and parts of it memorized will constrain you. Memorize the
structure of the talk and the outline, but not every word.



Contact information



Finish by giving the audience some contact information, including an
email address and Web site when applicable. Mention that you welcome
people's feedback and they should feel free to ask you questions either
after the session or by sending you email.



Do you have any more tips for making one's next public speaking
engagement less terrifying? Let us know in the comments or at tips at
lifehacker.com.



disclaimer: this is a copy-paste from lifehacker.

all the credit goes to them / the author









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